Reviews? I’m not ready….

I recently went to the theatre to watch a show that dealt with some hard hitting issues.  A man next to me kept huffing and puffing. Huff, puff, huff, puff. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe he just had breathing difficulties, maybe that was just naturally how he exhaled and inhaled - very loudly.  Maybe he had something going on at home.  Maybe they weren’t negative intakes and out-takes of breath.  But then he said, ‘Oh for f’s sake’  at the stage and left as soon as the show was over and even before the audience applauded.  

At the same time, to my left I watched another audience member, tears in her eyes, head slightly bent towards the actresses.  She looked in love with them.  And the audience applause that he had missed was a standing ovation. Three rounds. Cheers and whoops of delight the overwhelming noise. On the way out of the theatre I overheard animated conversations, some about the dialogue, some about one of the actress’s hair and some about politics.

It got me thinking about reviews.  

Of course there are all different types of people and some may be indifferent to or not get or like my book.  That man would probably pick up my book and huff and puff till next Christmas.  And that would be fine wouldn’t it? Of course it would be. He is perfectly entitled to his huffing and puffing (well maybe not so loudly in my vicinity).

When Seeds my first nationally staged play got reviewed there was one review in particular that stung. It felt unfair because there was no right of reply and because the play ended so abruptly (it was during Covid lockdown) so the play wasn’t seen by its full audience.  It felt, at the time, as though the review might define the whole play and my writing career.  Basically as I’m writing this I'm getting that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach again.  It’s emotional.

At the moment I’m hungry for news about my book.  I currently Google the title about 50 times a day to see what new things might pop up. Each new result is like a little gift - oh another book website has it on their page, oh it’s in a list of books coming up in 2025. But I know the reviews will start popping up soon too and with that there is a mix of emotion.  I’m not entirely sure I’m ready….