Where do you find the time to Write?
One of the most common questions I’ve been asked over the years when people find out I’m a writer with a full-time day job and a family is: ‘Where do you find the time?” I’m honoured to be asked the question but the answer is always tinged with guilt. Because I know where I find the time to write and it does come at the expense of what I’m not doing and often all the things I think I should be doing. I’m now fortunate enough to be able to have an actual book, a Murder for Miss Hortense that I can point to as justification for my choices but for much of the time there hasn’t been a tangible product which then begs the question, ‘And why?’
Actually there are lots and lots and lots of writers that aren’t full time writers - I think the idea of the full-time writer who does nothing other than write is a bit of a myth. I don’t personally know one single writer in that position. My experience is that, in the majority of cases, writers also have some kind of other side hussle going on plus a number of responsibilities. And I’d love to hear more about that juggle because I honestly don’t think there’s enough said about the reality of it.
Can you have a day job that you are invested in and also be a published author? - By a job that you are invested in I mean not a job that you do just to support your writing and pay the bills but a job that you are properly invested in. My answer is yes, I hope so. At my core I want to believe of course you can have a fulfilling whole life - day job, writing life, family life. I don’t yet know what my journey as a published author looks like. I’d love to hear from writers in this space about how they successfully manage the juggle. My joy can often come in the juxtaposition. Writing gives me a space to retreat to. But head hopping, as a writer friend of mine calls it, can sometimes be exhausting.
Actually there are lots of writers whose day job was or is in the law - that’s my experience anyway - In fact, I’d go as far to say that that combination is probably the most common one I hear about. I don’t know why. For me, initially, it was about having an outlet to use another part of my brain. The bit that could just write or say anything without needing to be right. But the answer may be different for everybody.
Guilt - For me there is always guilt attached. I’m not superwoman and I don’t have more time in the day than anyone else so that means opportunity cost and sacrifice. Yes, if I’m honest at the sake of family time, sometimes at the cost of my own well-being, sometimes at the expense of how I’m able to show up.
Finding the corners of my day - My understanding is Toni Morrison spoke about edges of her day. The Edges of the Day | Writerhood. I often refer to corners - not sure why corners. I savour these parts of my day because they give me such joy. I find the corners - first thing in the morning - I set my alarm for 5:30 most days (many days I sleep through the alarm); weekends; travelling to and from work; sometimes at lunchtime; at the end of an evening if I’m not too knackered or if I have a deadline which means I have to find that corner of my day. Having deadlines are a great way of finding the time.
What I’m not doing - So there are things I no longer find the time for or do in the same way I used to or even the way I aspire to. Maybe my house is not beautifully spotless. I spend less time planning meals and I’m probably not always present. I might have written through a few Christmases, I might not be fully present at my kids football matches that kind of thing.
So the answer to the question is, I choose to find the time, often it’s at the expense of other things that I don’t do. But actually, I don’t know who I’d be if I didn’t choose to find those corners. Writing is an important part of me.
